It happens to all new parents. Maybe you’ve had one Happy Meal too many. Or maybe your in-laws arrive unexpectedly and there’s no time to cook dinner. Or maybe you want to have a nice meal out to celebrate Mother’s Day. However it happens, there comes a time when you are going to have to eat a meal in a real restaurant with your small children. Relax. Dining with babies and toddlers can be difficult, but following these simple suggestions will ease your transition back into the world of real food.

• Call and ask about a restaurant’s policies toward children before you go. Do they have a menu for kids? Is there a good time to eat there with small children? While most restaurants would never actively discourage children, you can get a sense of the restaurant’s atmosphere from the tone of the responses to your questions.

• Don’t be afraid of linen! I’d heard of the rule that says not to eat with children at any restaurant with real cloth napkins. Forget this rule! Real napkins are not a good predictor of a restaurant’s atmosphere. I’ve eaten at places with paper napkins that were unfriendly toward children; I’ve also eaten in restaurants with linens and candles on the table and a children’s menu. (However, watch out for tablecloths; small children like to pull on them.)

• Know when to go. This is critical for a successful meal out with children. Some restaurants, like Bob Evans, seem to have a predictable atmosphere no matter what time we dine there. Others, however, undergo a remarkable transformation between lunch and dinner. If this is your first time eating at a new restaurant with children, always opt for lunch over dinner. And if the restaurant caters to a business clientele, it is wise to avoid the lunch rush. Start your meal before 11:30 a.m. or after 1 p.m. Dinners with small children are easier if you start your meal before 6 p.m. Your goal is to eat when there are fewer diners around, but not so few that the kitchen isn’t fired up.

• Designate a go-to person. If there are two or more adults eating with children, designate just one of you to handle any problems that arise during the meal. Early on with our son, Mark, my husband and I would take turns during the meal dealing with discipline and diaper duty. This invariably resulted in both of us eating cold meals. Now we decide which one of us is "on" before we leave the house. There is nothing worse than arguing about a dirty diaper when there is hot food on the table.

• Carry a well-stocked diaper bag. Along with the basics, we have learned that it’s a good idea to bring an extra change of clothes for older children. Nothing ends a trip out quite like a lapful of spaghetti. When Mark was a toddler, we used to bring a sippy cup with us wherever we went because some upscale restaurants don’t have plastic cups for children. And it is always nice to have some raisins or cereal available as back-up food in case your child doesn’t like anything on the menu.

Request specific seating. Not all seats are created equal, especially when it comes to children. Follow these guidelines:

• Ask for a booth. If you have a choice of a booth or a table, always opt for the booth. The high back of a booth seat offers privacy for a nursing mother, and the configuration allows you to rein in a bouncy toddler.

• Ask to be seated near other families. If your children behave poorly, other parents are often more sensitive to your plight than other diners. And if their kids behave poorly, your children will shine by comparison.

• Ask to be seated where your children have something entertaining to watch. Bar and grill style restaurants, like The American Café, have multiple televisions for patrons to watch. Some restaurants, like Romano’s Macaroni Grill and California Pizza Kitchen, have some tables where you can watch the chef prepare your food. Others, like Chevys Fresh Mex and Rio Grande Café, have tortilla-making machines that fascinate little ones.

• Ask to be seated in a noisy part of the restaurant. When ambient noise levels are higher, you don’t have to worry that your children will be too loud. While some restaurants seem to have a uniform noise level, others are quite variable. When in doubt, opt to be nearest the kitchen. Patio dining, when available, is usually preferable to eating indoors.

• Be thoughtful of others. My sister-in-law told me that watching a child learning to eat turned her stomach. I never realized this might bother her, since it doesn’t bother me. If you are eating with someone who is not used to small children, you shouldn’t place them directly across the table from a messy eater.

• Consider ordering your child’s food first. Mark is a slow eater and likes his food lukewarm, so we usually place an order for his food along with the drinks. We also let the server know that Mark’s plate should be brought to the table as soon as it is ready. If you are dining with a baby, you might ask for a cup of warm water to mix the formula. A mug of hot water works nicely to heat a bottle of breast milk or formula. Ask for these items before you need them to save you time and stress later in the meal. Plan your down time. The waiting period between when you order and when the food arrives can be a long one for children. This is a good time to take your newly potty-trained child to the bathroom. Bring a notebook and a pen so your child can doodle when a restaurant doesn’t provide crayons or a coloring sheet.

• Don’t reward bad behavior. While this seems obvious, it can be difficult to execute. When Mark was around 18 months old, he went through a shrieking phase, which was especially taxing in restaurants. My solution was to turn beet red, grab him quickly and rush for the lobby. I would then walk him around and miss most of the meal. This process continued until I asked my mother, in desperation, what she would suggest. Mom, a retired psychologist, pointed out that Mark must get some reward for shrieking. After I thought about it, I realized that I usually walked Mark around the lobby to calm him down. Invariably, people would coo and fuss over him. Mark loved all the attention, and he didn’t mind missing the meal. When we started going to the car or the bathroom instead of the lobby for our time-outs, this behavior improved.

• Set the stage for good behavior. Lay the ground rules before you go out to eat; kids behave better when they know what to expect. Over time, you will discover the best way to reward your kids for acting properly while eating out. For Mark, we learned to take him for a walk around the restaurant earlier in the meal, before he decided to start shrieking. We especially enjoyed places like Cracker Barrel Old Country Store and Restaurant, which has an impressive lobby full of interesting things for sale.

• Ask for the check early in the meal. There is nothing worse than trying to flag down your server while your child is in the middle of a meltdown. And don’t stay too long. It can be tempting to order that last cup of coffee or a yummy dessert when a meal with small children has gone smoothly, but don’t fall for this trap. Always leave sooner rather than later. An otherwise wonderful meal can be ruined when your child falls apart in the last few minutes. And tip well. Remember that a good tip covers a multitude of offenses.

• Practice makes perfect. My husband reminded me that it took many trips to our local Starbucks before Mark enjoyed his milk and coffee dates with Daddy. Children thrive on routine. Once you find a restaurant that you and your children enjoy together, go back often. Frequent dining out will lead to improved behavior.

Enjoy yourselves. It’s just one meal! Even if things go poorly, remember that this, too, shall pass. If nothing else, you will have a great story to share with your children when they get older.

Bon appetit!

Thinking of taking Mom out to eat for Mother’s Day? Here are some family-friendly ideas to stretch your budget:

Guapo’s. (D.C.: Tenleytown; Maryland: Bethesda, Gaithersburg; Virginia: Arlington, Herndon, Manassas, Manassas Park, Woodbridge) www.guaposrestaurant.com

Come during Happy Hour! Monday through Friday, when you visit between 4 and 6 p.m., you can order an appetizer for half price.

Joe’s Crab Shack. (Maryland: Gaithersburg; Virginia: Fairfax, Sterling) www.joescrabshack.com

Join the Snow Crab Free for All! Purchase a snow crab dinner and receive a free snow crab cluster.

Lone Star Steakhouse & Saloon. (Maryland: Columbia, Frederick, Gaithersburg, Laurel; Virginia: Alexandria, Herndon, Woodbridge) www.lonestarsteakhouse.com

Kids eat free! On Saturdays between 11 a.m. and 4 p.m. and all day Tuesday, two children can eat a free meal from the Kids Menu with each dinner entrée purchased.

Mamma Lucia. (Maryland: Bethesda, College Park, Frederick, Olney, Rockville, Silver Spring) www.mammaluciarestaurants.com

Monday night is Pasta Night! From 5 to 10 p.m., when you buy one pasta entrée, you can order a second for $3.99.

Silver Diner. (Maryland: Gaithersburg, Greenbelt, Laurel, Rockville; Virginia: Arlington, Dale City/Potomac Mills, Fair Oaks, Falls Church, McLean/Tysons Corner, Reston, Springfield) www.silverdiner.com

Bring in your little one for a free dessert on Kids Night! At most locations, Kids Night is celebrated on Tuesdays from 5 to 8 p.m. You might see a clown, participate in a craft or go home with a balloon.