August 2008

Gauging and Engaging Your Baby's Temperament

By Julie Bindeman, Psy.D.

Aaron is a 6-month-old who regularly coos at his caretakers, can be put anyplace, accepts his feedings without fussing and sleeps regularly. Abigail, also 6 months old, has a need to be held constantly, cannot be soothed easily and is a difficult sleeper. Obviously, Aaron’s parents are the better caretakers, right? Fortunately for Abigail’s parents, this is not the case. The difference between these two babies (and one of them might feel familiar to you) is temperament. Temperament is a biological predisposition that describes how your baby reacts to the world. However, biology is not the entire story with temperament – environment plays an important role. Temperament has a tendency to stay consistent across childhood, but this is a likelihood, not a certainty. By 4 to 6 months, your child should have a recognizable temperament, and as parents, you have started your training with how to manage it.

Fifty years ago, the husband and wife team of Alexander Thomas and Stella Chess separated temperament into nine trait categories. Since then, revisions have been made, and the traits have been narrowed down to as few as six. The eight most common are described here, adapted from Armin Brott on the website: www.dadmag.com/born_to_be.php, along with tips for coping with the different temperament traits

1. Intensity: Low-intensity babies have a narrower range of displayed emotion (they smile or cry quietly), whereas high-intensity babies will definitely let you know what they are feeling (from shrieking with delight to throwing a fit at bedtime).

What to do: If your baby’s persistent screaming is driving you nuts, it is okay to give yourself a parental timeout while your baby is in his crib or playpen. Another way to give yourself a break is to ask a friend, family member or neighbor to watch your baby for an hour so you can recalibrate. Or talk to a close friend, clergy member or therapist. Childproofing is essential with these children – and take care to not leave them unattended, even for a second, while on a bed or a changing table.

2. Persistence: A highly persistent baby is oblivious to any interruptions during feedings or while playing, but he cries when you need to change activities. Low-persistence babies are easily frustrated, even by simple tasks, and tend to have short attention spans. However, they are easily distracted with a diversion.

What to do: If your baby is highly persistent, he will need time to adjust before switching activities. Routine can be helpful, as it establishes a baseline of what the child should expect. With low-persistence children, be prepared to soothe them (this might mean spending time talking to them during bedtime or rubbing their stomachs). Since these children deal well with distractions, allow friends and family to serve this role. Try not to jump once your baby cries; allow him to experience some frustration so that his tolerance can build up.

3. Sensitivity: Low-sensitivity babies can tolerate noisy crowds, loud music, dirty diapers and scratchy clothing labels. Highly sensitive babies will wake if a pin drops, cannot tolerate a dirty diaper or lots of noise and might even react to a slight change in how their food tastes.

What to do: Modify the amount of stimulation in your baby’s environment—keep the colors less bright, ensure that the baby’s room is dark during sleep or nap times and make sure that active play has stopped prior to bedtime. If your child is crying, it can be helpful to remove the new stimulus (or remove your baby from the situation). You might want to avoid tight clothing, keep fabrics breathable and cut off scratchy labels.

4. Perceptiveness/First Interaction: Highly perceptive babies will react to the slightest change in their environment; they take some time to warm up to new people or places. Low-perceptive babies tend to “go with the flow.”

What to do: Introduce new people, sights and food gradually. Model to your child that you are okay with the situation. Let others know about your child’s style so that they won’t hold the baby immediately or take offense by the gradual warm up.

5. Adaptability: Fast-adapting babies are able to sleep in any situation, take things in stride and easily allow for changes in their routines. Slow-adapting babies have difficulties handling change (in their eating and sleeping routines) or processing transitions.

What to do: Give your child time to process transitions by introducing them slowly (if possible). Try to limit new caregivers or not make changes before sleeping or eating. Be mindful about making any changes in your appearance (cutting your hair, shaving a beard, etc.). Try not to give in to your child’s needs at the drop of a hat, as this allows a tolerance to be built.

6. Regularity: Highly predictable babies are able to stick to their eating and sleeping routines daily. Low-predictability babies aren’t, well, quite so predictable.

What to do: Try to keep routines consistent (for both types). When you find a “back-to-sleep” routine that works, USE IT! Try to avoid picking up the baby or feeding to soothe.

7. Energy: High-energy babies are always on the move – even during feedings, sleeping or diaper changes. Low-energy babies are calmer when it comes to feedings or diaperings and are content to stay in one place.

What to do: Low-energy babies are pretty easy to cope with. For babies with high energy needs, babyproof often and early! Also, do not leave your child unattended (even for a second) during a diaper change.

8. Mood: Babies who display a positive mood seem to always be happy, laughing and smiling. The opposite is true for babies who display a more negative mood, as they tend to cry or whimper during the majority of the day.

What to do: Certainly, smiling babies are easy to take pleasure in. Know that a baby who doesn’t smile all of the time still loves you, and realize that this is not a reflection of your parenting skills, but an aspect of temperament – so continue to show your baby the love that you have. Once your child increases his verbal skills, he will be able to communicate his needs to you.

To complicate things further, each parent’s temperament can affect how easy it is to manage a child’s style. Mom might be laid-back and easy-going, whereas Dad needs to stick to a predetermined schedule. An “easy baby” might be more workable for Mom, since their styles match, than for Dad.
Understanding your baby’s temperament – and your own – will help you develop a parenting style that works best for you and your baby.

Julie Bindeman is a licensed psychologist in private practice in Maryland. She works with a variety of concerns, including parenting and life adjustments. She can be contacted via e-mail at drbindeman@gmail.com.