September 2008
Monitoring and Managing Media Use
By Erin Mantz
Television shows. TiVo. On Demand. Websites. Social networks. Movie theaters. The Internet. E-mail. Text messaging. Cell phones. DVD players. iPods. Video games. Online game sites. That’s enough technology for adults to manage. How can we help our kids sail through school work, socializing and outdoor activities in the midst of all this media?
You’ve already picked up this magazine and began reading this article, so you’re off to a good start! Now, think about the last time your child turned off all his technology and opened a magazine. If you can’t recall, you’re not alone. The average American kid today spends more than 44 hours per week with media and entertainment. That’s more time than with their parents (17 hours) or in school (35 hours), says Common Sense Media, a not-for-profit organization dedicated to improving the media and entertainment lives of kids and families. Do you think that’s true in your home?
When it comes to managing 7-year-old Jack’s media use, mom Meredith Barbour of Alexandria seems to have a pretty good handle on the amount and quality of what he consumes. He only watches about one hour of television a month, and when he does, it’s mainly sports. He uses the Internet primarily at school and to look up some information at home (with mom, of course). She carefully reads movie reviews before heading to the theater and only lets Jack use portable tech toys like iPods and DVD players when traveling. He has time limits on his three video games, which are rated “E” for everyone. If it sounds like she’s on top of all Jack’s technology – she is! If you think that must take some serious effort and time on her part, that’s true, too.
Certainly all parents and caregivers want to do their part. But for some who can’t find the time or don’t know where to go for up-to-date, reliable information, Common Sense Media offers strategies, tips, reviews and more to make managing your children’s media use a little simpler.
Different families have different strategies and sets of rules around media usage – and that’s okay. What’s important is that parents are involved and actively monitoring and guiding their kids through it all. One Potomac mother monitors media use for three sons, ages 7, 12 and 15. Now that is a challenge! Yet, over the last school year and despite their age ranges, she employed some smart strategies for all the boys. “I allow Internet time only after homework is done. Television is not allowed Monday through Thursday, except on special occasions or when school’s out the next day.” This has been the house policy for two years. It has worked well, and this school year will be no exception. Family rules for other kinds of media are more relaxed; it’s fine to play video games at a friend’s house, all three boys have iPods and the older two have cell phones with unlimited texting.
Rebecca Randall literally takes her work home with her. She is the stepmom of fourth and sixth graders. She also happens to be the director of outreach for Common Sense Media. “During the past few school years, the kids can only use the Internet on weekends,” Randall explains. “Even then, we have a three-hour computer/Internet/Wii game time limit for each child. They can choose what they use. With the computer in the common room, my husband and I frequently pass by and peek over their shoulders to see what they’re doing.” In addition, she knows each child’s account passwords and uses parental controls on the Mac computer. If either kid wants to visit a new site, they ask, and Randall and her husband ask why they’re interested, check it out and look up the ratings on www.commonsensemedia.org.
Of course, at Randall’s house, like many others today, media devices are everywhere, which means rules for usage are on the move. Each child has an iPod nano and a rule to go with it: no downloading videos without parental approval, and the adults check the iPod regularly to ensure the rule is being followed. They gave the 11-year-old a cell phone for fifth-grade graduation, along with a set of guidelines for how they will allow him to use it. Randall employed a smart strategy around the phone’s plan as well. It is prepaid, does not have access to the Internet and the text-messaging feature is turned off. Many of today’s phones offer flexibility, so parents can define and modify usage and access pretty easily.
When you have a child entering first grade, homework may become part of the nightly routine – and that is when it might be time to change or institute some rules around media use to manage time and priorities. Stephanie Roma-Brown of Chevy Chase plans to cut back TV time for her entering first-grader. “He watches too much right now,” she admits. “It’s the first thing he does when he gets up in the morning and the last thing he does before bed. We haven’t had any hard-and-fast rules about this, but we definitely need to cut back.” Portable media devices also can be daunting, so the Brown boys can only use the portable DVD player in the car for trips of two hours or more.
The leaders of Common Sense Media realize media is part of life, and they say they believe in media sanity, not censorship. Their goal is to teach kids to be media savvy, provide reliable information so each family can decide what’s right for them, and provide a forum for families to have a choice and a voice about the media they do consume. They do that by doing lots more legwork than any one mom or dad could do! Their site offers detailed reviews based on child development criteria from leading authorities. One of the most helpful resources – their notes on movie reviews – goes beyond the basics, with very descriptive content alerts noting exact scenarios involving language, violence, sexual content and more. If someone dies in the film,the site will actually provide details. If it contains questionable language, they will share some specific phrases. I would never take my 7- and 3-year-old sons to a movie without reading reviews!
Liz Perle, Common Sense Media editor in chief, reminds parents that ratings are there for a reason. “A child is forming lifelong habits and needs lots of input,” she says. And when it comes to different kinds of media, a screen is a screen. Studies show school readiness is impacted by screen time. Besides rules around what and when kids can watch or play, a parent's actions have a tremendous impact on what kids learn and do. “Kids look at your behavior, so be the model,” Perle reminds us. “Are you texting at the dinner table?” (Note to self – stop doing this.)
Note: This article focuses more on younger children who are using media with their parents present, rather than on tweens and teens . As a result, it does not focus on Internet safety and privacy concerns, which are of course a huge part of media usage and a topic all its own. If it’s something you’d like to see in a future article, let us know at contactus@washingtonparent.net
Erin Mantz lives in Potomac with her husband and two sons. You can find her blog at www.hybridmom.com/blog.
Use Common Sense!
Liz Perle, editor in chief for Common Sense Media, offers some great, easy tips for monitoring media usage.
If you want to time usage, consider using an age-appropriate rule your child will understand, such as “two shows.”
Consider a kid browser like Kidzui (www.kidzui.com), now offered free.
Pick age-appropriate websites (you can find recommendations at www.commonsensemedia.org).
Be aware of online ads. Can your child spot one? Do a test to teach and make a game of it; it’s hard for a child to tell the difference as ads can seem integrated into content or just part of the page or game.
If your child wants to go on YouTube, go with him!
Model behavior – and watch who your child's TV role models are. Would you invite that television character to your dinner table?
Be Part of the M.O.M. Community
How much television is too much? What are other moms doing to monitor usage? Want to voice your opinion? Common Sense Media is inviting moms everywhere to join the M.O.M. Community. To sign up or find more information, visit www.commonsensemedia.org/news/specials/joinmomsonmedia