May 2009
What's Your Name?
The Experts Weigh In
By Linda Kerr
Baby naming is a serious game played before the birth of a child. Parents may spend months poring over books to find the perfect baby name to represent just the right balance of individuality and family heritage, not to mention finding something that’s a match with the surname.
Baby names today run the gamut. While more traditional names, such as Andrew and Elizabeth, can still be found in the top 10 of most baby name lists, parents are continuing to experiment with new spellings and combinations, like Micaela or Aryan, to help their children stand out from the crowd Still other parents have resurrected older generational names, such as Olivia, Caleb and Ava, as a way to find a fresh-sounding name.
Creative Naming
Laura Wattenberg, author of The Baby Name Wizard and founder of babynamewizard.com, observes that the trend is still moving away from more traditional names. She says parents want their kids to stand out and not blend in with everyone else. “However, with the explosion of creative naming, even uncommon names can sound normal. A new creation, like Gracely or Raiden, fits right in. To sound truly unique, a name has to buck the fashion tides, like Gertrude, or go far out on a limb, like Jaguar,” she says.
As parents become more creative with monikers, the unusual does not sound quite so unusual anymore. Celebrities who have branched out with eccentric names, such as Apple, Shiloh, Hopper or Kyd, have set the bar high for imaginative nomenclature.
Shani Leccima explains the very careful thought process she and her husband followed with each of her daughters’ names – tinkering with how they sounded together, who they represented, what they both loved – to create the names: Tse Iris (pronounced “say”), Sloane Ivy, Blake Ocean and Chase Blossom. She says much of her own personality is reflected in her children’s names. “The names are serious, as we believe our children will make some sort of serious impact in their society, small or large. I believe in a person’s talent and effort taking them far outside of gender stereotypes. On paper – with the middle initial – my girls can be any American. Their names give them the choice to say if they are female.”
Playing the Name Game
Parents take this name game very seriously, and the names they choose are a candid reflection of their own personality, values and dreams, Wattenberg says. “It may be difficult to separate the influence of a name from the influence of the parents who chose it. If one family names their son Jim and another Jaguar, chances are those boys will grow up in very different environments. But our names do shape us in subtle ways. They encourage us to feel at home in certain environments, and they color other people's first impressions of us.”
But can a given name influence a child’s own personality? Linda Rosenkrantz, the coauthor of three baby naming books, including Cool Names, says probably not. She and many other naming experts agree that the person makes the name, and a name in turn doesn’t define a person. At best, an extremely unstylish name, such as Hester or Gertrude, might cause a lot of teasing and pain; a popular name often makes a child feel popular. “Some people feel that the image of a name can affect a child's personality, that a Poppy will be peppy, a Bruno will be macho, an Angelica will be delicate, but there isn't much evidence to support that,” she says.
Cynthia de Lorenzi named her now 28-year-old daughter Ransom after her great-grandfather. At the time she admits thinking the name was a bit of a risk, which is why she chose a more common first name to add to the mix for an “opt-out” name. This gave her daughter an option in the future of using either name. But since uncommon names are so common now, Lorenzi admits she might feel differently had Ransom been born today. Her daughter now works in the movie industry, and Lorenzi believes her unusual name has helped her stand out in her career.
Everything New Is Old Again
A generation ago parents were brainstorming new and fresh-sounding names so their children would stand out in a world full of Jessicas and Michaels. But today a unique name doesn’t generate the same kind of reaction as it might have 20 years ago. “A name is only unusual or unique until it becomes popular and well-used,” says Lauren Teton, a product naming expert and founder of NameOne! She says her own name was once considered unusual until actress Lauren Bacall’s agent suggested the name for her. Lauren, a once obscure name, ranked as one of the top 60 girls’ names last year.
There is one thing the baby naming experts do agree on: choose a name that both parents love. Whether a name includes an “opt out,” four or five extra nicknames, a uniquely created combination of letters or a family surname, all the hard work for the name game pays off when parents finally see their baby’s name in print on the birth certificate.
Of course, the process begins all over again when the next child comes into the family.
Linda Kerr is a freelance writer with two children in Reston. She writes at babybunching.com.