September 2010
Senior Class
Grandparents as Lunch Room Volunteers, Field Trip Chaperones, Homework Helpers and More
By Gina Roberts-Grey
The vital role grandparents play in their grandchildren's lives is one of the many reasons to celebrate Grandparent's Day on Sunday, September 12. Family historian. Secret recipe holder. Compassionate shoulder. These are just a few of the hats that grandparents naturally don each day. In a world where parents are busier than ever before, grandparents are starting to assume new roles in their grandchildren's lives.
Classroom volunteer, room parent, lunch room volunteer and field trip chaperone are positions that have historically been filled by student's parents. Today, more and more of these important jobs are being filled by grandparents. Whether out of the desire to get out of the house or to fill in for working parents, grandparents are helping with homework, serving as mystery readers and accompanying their grandchildren on school trips.
What do kids think of having their grandparents help at school? How do grandparents feel about another round of helping with homework or studying for tests? The answers are as heartwarming as they are enlightening.
It Takes a Village
For centuries, many cultures have relied on the wisdom, experience and support of raising children in multigenerational environments. Whether to teach children family traditions or provide support for nervous new parents, grandparents have been trusted and integral parts of the family unit. This village theory is one that many modern families have begun applying and relying on to raise happy and healthy children.
Grandparents assuming active roles in raising a child have many social, emotional and physical benefits. This extended circle of support has significant effects on children. Facing a crisis or confusion or wanting to share the details of an accomplishment or goal, children whose parents and grandparents take an interest in their education have higher self-esteem and more self-confidence.
Reinforcing the expectations and goals of parents, grandparents provide an added layer of guidance. They speak with kindness and authority and captivate grandchildren eager to soak up the lessons grandparents have to offer.
Educators are seeing a spike in the number of grandparents and extended family members in the classroom and on school sponsored field trips. "We've seen a growing number of grandparents participating in their grandchildren's academic experiences," notes Debra Brillante, administrator for a private elementary school.
Providing love, encouragement and stability, grandparents visiting classrooms, working a shift in the school cafeteria or helping with homework is often the extra boost of confidence and assurance many children need. Students going through tough situations rely heavily on their grandparent's involvement. That type of unconditional love and support is invaluable for children whose parents are separating, working or traveling a great deal, or who may be ill.
Visiting state capitals and pumpkin patches has great rewards for seniors as well. Immersing themselves into their grandchild's world keeps grandparents physically and mentally active.
Welcoming the Help
Grandparents attending field trips or class parties can ease a tremendous amount of guilt for parents whose work or household schedules do not permit participating in some of these events. "My mom has helped me raise both of my boys in so many ways. She went on field trips, was a room ‘grand-mom,' came with me to school functions and attended every recital, concert or play they've been in," says Tami Crea, mother of two teenage sons.
In most cases, children are happy to have a family member attend school functions regardless of whether it is a grandparent or parent. "I've never heard any complaints when it was grandma rather than mom," adds Crea. Crea's sons, ages 14 and 17, have a solid and valued relationship with their grandmother. "In fact, my oldest caught seven fish and asked specifically for grandma to cook them since he knows I hate cooking fish."
The chance to share a scouting camping trip or help a grandchild master spelling words usually has lasting effects. In addition to the love and support, sharing classroom and extracurricular activities with grandparents generates a great deal of mutual pride and respect. "A grandfather accompanied his grandson on an overnight event, and he was the hit of the outing. The boys listened intently as he talked about his own scouting experiences, all while his grandson was beaming," says a cubmaster.
Knowing the names of a grandchild's friends and classmates, what his current spelling words are or where he went on a field trip solidifies the unique bond shared between children and their grandparents.
Getting Involved
Grandparents can participate in their grandchildren's academic and extracurricular experiences in a variety of ways. Chaperoning a field trip, supervising a class party or working a shift as the playground supervisor are terrific options for grandparents who live near their grandchildren.
Of course, taking an active role in a young child's life can present certain challenges for everyone involved. The experience can be a fun challenge to recall geometry or science class.
"Grandparents should never place excessive pressure on themselves to know how to tackle homework assignments or prepare for a test," says Ralph Neumann, of Arlington, a frequent grandparent volunteer in his grandson's classes. Part of the unique experience is the chance to explore and learn together.
If too many miles separate your children and their grandparents, there are still several options to keep everyone connected. Spelling words practiced over the phone or in an e-mailed crossword puzzle help grandparents stay connected. A video diary of a field trip or class party or a shared journal passed back and forth keeps them involved in each other's lives.
Regardless of the level of participation, everyone benefits when children and grandchildren spend time together. Your children can gain insight into your childhood, your parents can funnel their unconditional love into their grandchildren and, as parents, you can embrace the loving circle of your extended family.
Gina Roberts-Grey is a freelance writer.